Manifesto of the
League Against Turgorial Discrimination

For some time now it has amazed, and worried, some of us, that there are people who consider plants to be lesser creatures than animals. Indeed, to our horror, there are people who actively discriminate against plants, not only by treating them with contempt, but even by actively loading them with burdens that they refrain from inflicting on animals. This pains us so that we have decided to organise ourselves on the plants' behalf, in order to urge the world to put an end to this discrimination. We have decided to call ourselves the League Against Turgorial Discrimination, and this is our manifesto.

Let it be known, then, that

we, the League Against Turgorial Discrimination, have decided to let our voice be heard.

Let there be no more discrimination against the less mobile creatures of nature, or for those who happen to be closer related to us. Let us regard all members of this great plethora of beings as equal, regardless of which taxonomic kingdom they belong to, and above all let us treat them as equals; not degrading our greener friends to mere food-stuff while looking upon the black, white, grey, and brown members as brothers, but loving, consuming, and respecting, each being to the degree it fully deserves. Let us allow soggy leeks or mushy peas no more than we allow burnt pork-chops or tough chicken-breasts; let us always enjoy our food for what it is: a beloved member of the living universe, giving up its life so that we may eat it, whether it be carrot or mushroom or cow.

Let us treat each plant as a treasure of nature. Let us refrain from mistreating them. Let us consider them, and love them. In short, let us always remember that plants are people, too.