The Prehistory of Westala and Villtin

As posted on alt.fan.pratchett in the spring of 2002

Edited by Elin Rosén


Subject: Too male?

Once upon a time there was a post about several things (as often happens) but which finally became a discussion of the spelling of "magic" and "vampire". In the course of this discussion Marco claimed that all Swedes were "deeply silly dorks", to which mrtn replied:


From: mrtn
Date: 2002-03-13

You're showing un-viking tendencies! Me bash you brain in!
Battle Axe! :-)


On which Örjan felt the need to comment.


From: Orjan Westin
Date: 2002-03-13

*ahem*

#include [standard rant about vikings not being barbaric cavemen but rather members of a democratically ruled society valuing both poetry and hygiene highly, with highly skilled artists working in gold, silver and wood to make highly abstracted and beautiful works of art, treating women with an equality they've only managed to get back the last century or so, and showing tolerance for people of different ethnical, racial and religious background.]

I've got a sword, you know.


FiX joined in...


From: François-Xavier de Montgolfier
Date: 2002-03-13

Ever read the islandic sagas? The "democrasy" that existed there is not one I'd like living under (not to mention that I'd probably be a slave, being of southern europe stock).

I've got a sword, you know.

that's nothing, I've got several pens ;-)


...Marco...


From: Marco Villalta
Date: 2002-03-13

that's nothing, I've got several pens ;-)

Oh? I've got a sabre, a scimitar, a very sharp hunting knife, two machetes, a scythe, a sickle, and a couple more knives. Oh; and a shuriken (throwing star).

Orjan, you're with me.


...and with Richard along as well, the central cast was complete


From: Richard Bos
Date: 2002-03-14

I've got a sword, you know.

Yes, we know, you barbaric plunderer, you.

that's nothing, I've got several pens ;-)

Oh? I've got a sabre, a scimitar, a very sharp hunting knife, two machetes, a scythe, a sickle, and a couple more knives. Oh; and a shuriken (throwing star).

Yeah, well, I've got a +7 long sword called Fire Brand1 and a +6 katana
And several fountain pens.

Orjan, you're with me

Don't worry, FiX, we civilised peoples will defend ourselves against these heathens in their raider's ships.


1 Vikings being, of course, not suceptible to Frost Brand's special attack.


From: François-Xavier de Montgolfier
Date: 2002-03-14

Yeah, well, I've got a +7 long sword called Fire Brand and a +6 katana

And i have a kimono <frowns> No, wait...

And several fountain pens.

The best ones. Mind you, it's a rather difficult weapon to learn: you have to know which way to point. Which is why I mainly stick to pencils ;-)

Don't worry, FiX, we civilised peoples will defend ourselves against these heathens in their raider's ships.

CiviWHAT? Oh, all right, if you define civilization by the ability to create good meals and fine wines, us French are very civilized... mind you, orgies are civilized too ;-)


After this, more posts followed from various afpers stating quantity, size and power of weapons. The list included a bow and arrows, some air guns, more pens, a 6 foot Angoni war spear, a six-mile wide "dinosaur-killer" asteroid (reported to be "a bugger to steer"), an automatic cannon, a belt, shoes with laces, electric flexes, a wooden stool, a pair of scissors and some sofa cushions. Meanwhile Orjan returned to the scene.


From: Orjan Westin
Date: 2002-03-14

Orjan, you're with me.

You know, that's probably the closest to a proposal I've ever got on afp. *snif*

Back to back, brother! We'll face these Incontinentals together, till death do us part!


From: Marco Villalta
Date: 2002-03-16

Yeah? In that case I propose we get it registered. Will you be my vicious battle companion?

I can register it on AFPHRID, if only I can work out what to do and how to do it.

Back to back, brother! We'll face these Incontinentals together, till death do us part!

Aye! Right!

Hang on, hang on, do you intend to die?

No, you meant their death. Ok.


Aquarion, the maintainer of afphrid - the a.f.p heroic, raltional and impossible database, showed up and told Marco how to register, so Marco did.

When replying to an afproposal, the traditional response is to ask the question "HMMHYG?" - usually meaning "how much money have you got?" but quite possibly carrying other meanings as well...


From: Orjan Westin
Date: 2002-03-18

HMMHYG? No, scrap that. We'll plunder the dead together.

<fx: spits in hand and extends towards Marco>


From: Marco Villalta
Date: 2002-03-18

HMMHYG?

"How much mayhem have you got?" Well, sufficiently.

No, scrap that. We'll plunder the dead together.

Ah yes, "ministering"...

<fx: spits in hand and extends towards Marco>

<Me spits in my hand and shakes Orjan's>


This, Speaker-to-Customers found worthy of a quote


From: Speaker-to-Customers
Date: 2002-03-19

"Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great judgement seat; But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth, When two strong men stand face to face, though they come from the ends of the earth!"


ppint found it worthy of a comparison, and wrote the message that started "- you two are fafhrd and the gray mouser..." and the rest is history - or at least story.

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This page © Elin Rosén 2002 | The quoted articles © the authors.